It's been a month! And I'm going to TOGO!!

Today is my one month anniversary of being a YWAM-er! What a month it has been. I haven't written much because every time I think about writing the thought of trying to articulate all that God has done is extremely daunting. Our first week of lectures was on the power of forgiveness and repentance through the cross. The week was intense and exhausting. There was so much personal application, we were all so blown away by the depth the teaching, it was impossible to stop the teaching from penetrating our hearts. This of course, is a good thing – however, we were all reassured that not every week of our DTS would be so intense...so far it has. It's been amazing to see what God is doing. Week two was on the character and nature of God. It was so beautiful to see wrong ideas about God crumble next to the truth of who He is, and what He wants for us. Last week we received teaching on the person and work of the Holy Spirit. Our teacher was an amazing woman of God who is so down to earth and...normal. It was a relief because I think it's safe to say that some of us were afraid our Holy Spirit week would be taught by a kind of airy, flighty, totally emotionally controlled person. I guess that might point to some of my wrong ideas about who the Holy Spirit is. Anyway, last week was awesome. It was really amazing to see how biblically founded the teaching was. Every concept had loads of verses to back it up, and the controversial stuff wasn't really a focus until the last day, where it was handled very well and gently.

God is really blowing my mind with all that He is doing here. Our class is absolutely amazing as well. It's amazing to see how faithful God is. One of my prayers before I came was that God would show me what a really healthy community that was completely based on Him would look like. That is this community. I have never been a part of something like this before – and I have been a part of some really amazing communities. Everyone in our entire class is so unified and connected. I have not once heard anyone gossip about another person. There is no competition for social standing, no romantic weirdness between anyone, we are all here to seek God's face together, we have come with all of our issues, and been totally honest with each other with where we're at, we are unified in purpose, and God given affection for each other. Every term the current DTS puts on an event called “cafe night” and ours was on saturday night. We pick a theme, decorate, cook, and make a cafe atmosphere for a sort of glorified talent show. Our cafe night was awesome. I was on the decorating team, the serving team (we ran it restaurant style, with servers), and the baking team. We made Swedish Carrot cake (one of our classmates is Swedish, she's wonderful), fruit kebobs, and brownies with ice cream. There were so many acts that cafe night ran for 2 hours. The whole base and some visitors (including David Hamilton, author of Why Not Women!!) were there, so in all we had about 120 people. I was so overwhelmed with how much I love these people that I actually started tearing up during one of the dances the Korean girls were doing. It felt like preparing a dance for your family and then celebrating each other and laughing together. The DTS girls also prepared a song and dance. It was pretty embarrassing, but it also just had that family feel, and it made me so grateful to be here.

We also found out where we are going on outreach last week! Our options are Cairo, Mexico City, and Togo, West Africa. I was the second to last person in the class to figure out which location I should go to, but I have decided on Togo. I'm so excited to go. I can already see that God is blessing my team hugely, and that we were put together with a purpose. Togo is a small country in between Benin and Ghana. We will be spending half of our time at the in the capital city, Lome, and half of our time in a more undeveloped area in the country. While in the capital city we will be helping to run a computer training center to teach locals how to use simple programs such as word, and how to create an email account. Mercy Ships will also be arriving in Togo while we are there, so we will hopefully be able to help out there. When we are in the more rural areas, we will be going to completely unreached people groups in villages. We will be in Africa for just under two months, then returning to Switzerland for one week of debrief and re-entry lectures, then I'll be coming home. : ( I can't believe we will have to leave each other. It will be so hard to leave this community. I am trusting God to provide the money for this Togo. The trip will cost about 3,500 dollars, and I am definitely still lacking most of that. Please be praying for provision, and if you would like to contribute please send money to my parents at 2905 Goodman Dr NW Gig Harbor, WA. Love you all!  

DTS - The First Two Days

I have arrived in Switzerland and have mostly settled into my new home for the next three months.  To be honest I was unpleasantly surprised when I first arrived.  It all just seemed very, uncomfortable.  I think a big problem actually has had to do with my ability to fall asleep.  I haven't really slept well since I left America, so I'm very, very tired.  My room is about the size of an average college dorm room, however, I have 5 other roommates.  The space is limited to say the least, and we share a wall with a group of 15-16 year old boys who are here for a combined bible and english course.  They are all Swiss German.  The first night they were very loud and I was totally unable to fall asleep, I was lying in bed thinking about home and wishing very much that I wasn't here, I really wondered if I had made a mistake.  However, the next morning life was already starting to look brighter.   

Our base is  quite large and is running several schools at the same time.  My DTS has 20 students and 6 staff members made up from 10 different nationalities.  It's really awesome to be a part of such a diverse group.  There is also a Learning English for Missions school happening which is made up entirely of Korean students, that school is quite large as well, I believe there about 15 students.  Then there is a Bible Core class which has  4 students and a class I can't remember the name of which runs for 10 months made up entirely of Swiss German teenagers who kind of combine a DTS curriculum with learning english and learning basic job skills, there are a lot of students in that class, but I'm not sure how many.  Anyway we all meet together as a base for an hour in the mornings have a time of teaching, sort of a sermon and worship together.  It's really awesome.  We sang songs in english and german so far, I'm not sure if we're going to give korean a try, but it wouldn't surprise me.  Anyway the unity and love of the campus has really warmed my heart.  It really is far more diverse than anything I have ever been a part of, but everyone is so kind and warm and seem to desire to spend time together.

After our morning meeting the separate schools meet in there own classrooms leaving our DTS to meet together without everyone else for the first time.  It was really great to be with them.  I really am overwhelmed with the way God is binding us together.  I feel very real and powerful affection for everyone in my school.  When anyone is speaking I want to listen intently to every word because I feel like God has given me His heart for these people.  And it seems that He has done the same for everyone else as well.  Last night we sat in a circle and talked about why we are here and what we hope to get out of our DTS - sounds simple enough.  I was blown away by the total honesty and vulnerability of absolutely everyone.  I really feel like it's a totally safe and sincere environment.  No one is trying to impress, no one is fighting for social superiority, it's already a very unified community.  God has really been able to give me strength and ability to connect with people I normally wouldn't know how to connect with.  There is a girl in my room from Korea who arrived at 2 AM the first night.  She barely speaks english and is very timid.  I don't know how I won favor in her eyes but every time she speaks to the group she just looks at me, I listen intently and nod my head re-assuring her that she's doing a good job and she keeps going, when she's finished she smiles and looks down.  When she shares I swell up with pride for her, she's so brave to come here and speak when she's so unsure of the language and culture.  There is also a guy from Singapore.  He and I had a good talk while our school went on a walk together to a huge forest behind the base.  He's a zoo keeper in singapore and very involved with his family and church.  He speaks english, mandarin, and malay and was so willing and honest to share with me about his heart and how he got here, I really respect him and loved talking to him, even about the simple differences between our cultures in daily life.  It's so interesting and enriching.  

My Staff is also wonderful.  I really love them.  The school leader is a woman from Australia named Michelle, then there is another girl from New Zealand, a girl and guy from America, and a girl from Canada.  I stayed up talking with one of the students and the staff last night and they ended up praying for me to be able to sleep, I still didn't sleep well last night, but it was just really cool to be able to share with them what I was struggling with and have the immediate response be prayer.  Oh, I forgot to mention my DTS is unique because the average age of the students is actually 22.  The oldest guy is 26 (the one from singapore) and the youngest student is a girl from California who is 17.  But there is a great mix of ages. A lot of 23, 25 year olds, drop outs, people who were successful in the business world but wanted more than money, a group of sincere, confused, broken people who really want Jesus.  This community is not comprised of people I would hand pick to be my best friends and have the most fun with ever, but of real people whom I already trust and love.  How exciting.   

Anyway, please be praying for me to be able to fall asleep and get good solid rest.  Also, I really need provision financially for the school.  Please be praying that Satan would not get his hands inside our community, that he would not be able to divide us but that we would grow in unity and love.  Please be praying for my discernment in hearing God's voice, and my faith to believe Him when He speaks to me.  As for now, I should get going and start mingling.  A group of Korean girls who are studying at the table next to me just offered me a Korean cookie to snack on. : ) It's delicious.  I have won high favor with the Koreans for being the only white person to make it to the finals in a Korean game we played the first night.   It's very similar to Ninja, just a tad more confusing with a few Korean words being changed here and there.  Anyway, here comes my roommates, so I should be going.  I'll write again soon.  

Tax Deductible

As promised in my previous post, I have looked into the possibility of making a tax deductible donation and it turns out that this is not possible.  I just got off the phone with my base in Switzerland and they have informed me that their base is only registered as a charity in Switzerland itself, therefore in order to make a tax deductible donation you must be a swiss resident.  : ( lame. 

My life has been changed, I am moving to Europe!!

This blog will be a place for me to record my adventures, my thoughts, the things that change me, and the ways the Lord uses me to change the world.  As some of you already know, I am moving back to Europe very soon.  I will be living in Switzerland for several months starting in September in order to complete a YWAM (Youth With A Mission) DTS (Discipleship Training School).  It's been a long and interesting path that has brought me to this point, and as I look back I certainly didn't know I was headed this way all along, but I see God's hand in it all.  God has given me an awareness for quite some time now that the decisions we make are not merely choices between this career and that career, this city or that one, etc... but the choices we make will end up shaping whether or not we know God, whether or not we believe Him and trust Him.  Over the past five years I have done my fair share of moving around, going to different schools and having different jobs and through it all I have been searching with more and more passion as time passes for what it means to follow God, to believe that He is who He claims to be until fear is erased from my heart as it should be.  

I am not going to retell every step I have taken and decision I have made for the past five years, but I will give a brief summery of what specific steps have led me to where I am today.  I moved back to Hillsboro from Seattle almost three years ago.  I was a student at Portland State University and worked at Newport Bay Restaurant as a hostess.  I loved going to school at Portland State.  I just love the city of Portland in general, the culture, the people, and yes even the weather.  Considering all of this it was not only shocking to my friends and parents when I told them I was considering leaving school, but it was shocking to myself.  This is how it happened:  I was taking the MAX to school one day (Portland's light rail train) enjoying the ride as always when I started thinking about my life and what I want to do with it.  As I reflected on and filed through my dreams and plans one by one it began to dawn on me that I had never once asked God what He wanted to do with my life.  I had always come up with a plan that seemed wise, and generally in line with the ideals and morals that God expects us to live according to, then present it to God and ask for His blessing.  This realization hit me hard, I don't really know what I believe about God's will,  but I do know that if He ever did want to do something more specific with my life than bless the dreams that I come up with on my own, I had never given Him the opportunity to show me what those things might be.  After much prayer and discussion with friends and my parents I decided that I needed to leave school for the time being, to live without a plan and agenda and ask God that whatever He wills would happen.  My parents were surprisingly supportive, telling me that though it was hard for them to see me make this decision because they wanted to protect me, they had been learning that education is not God, and although getting an education is very wise and good, it does not guarantee security, the only guarantee we have in life is the goodness of God.  They told me they were proud of me for chasing God in this way but that they were going to cut me off 100% financially after quitting school.  I agreed that this was fair and decided that I would pray for God's provision, that if He didn't bring anything my way I at least would know that I tried then I would go back to school.  After only two weeks of praying and waiting, I received a phone call.  The call was from a woman I had been working for as a house cleaner for the past several months.  She told me that her father-in-law was moving in with them and that he would require 24 hour care, therefore they would need to hire a caretaker to be with him during the day time.  The woman (Shelly) did not know that I was leaving school or looking for a job but told me that she didn't know why but she thought of me for the job and really wanted me to do it.  She suggested that I take night classes and work for them full time.  This job was such an answer to prayer, it blew me away.  I had the perfect schedule and God always provided me with enough financially, I never had to borrow money from my parents once after I began my new job.  

I don't believe that God's will for my life is to be an elderly care-taker. After wrestling with the events I just laid out for you I have come to believe that this job was God providing for me as I stepped out in faith that He would take care of me.  The point was that He is good and trustworthy.  To be completely honest I really did not enjoy my job.  Although there were many many benefits including working with a wonderful family that treated me with generosity and kindness - working with a dementia patient for a year and a half was a stretching experience to say the least.  I believe that God would not have been unhappy with me had I decided to stay at Portland State, and that He would have guided me to where He wants to use me regardless, but I also believe that because I made the decisions I did, I trust Him so much more fully today than I would have had I decided to continue down the path I was on.  I would much rather choose to endure a job that is not, shall we say, pleasant, but trust God so much more, than be comfortable and have my life pretty much on track with my plan, but have trust in God be more of an ideal to discuss than a truth to experience.  

So this brings us up to speed to where I am today - blissfully unemployed and homeless.  Okay, not really.  I finished my last week of work with Tom (the elderly man I had been caring for), and moved out of my apartment last week.  I am currently house sitting for a week before moving back in with my parents to live rent free (woohoo!) in Gig Harbor, WA for a month before leaving for Switzerland.  So, why YWAM, why a DTS, and why Switzerland?  A. YWAM or Youth With A Mission is an international missions organization that has been impacting our world for God in a beautiful and tangible way since 1960.  YWAM generally focuses on teaching and empowering youth to spread the love of God to the World, however people of all ages are heavily involved in YWAM.  To read more about what YWAM is you can visit their website at, www.ywam.org  B. A DTS or Discipleship Training School is the introductory course to do anything with YWAM.  You must complete one in order to be involved with YWAM in any way.  A DTS is generally comprised of three months of lectures on topics ranging from spiritual warcraft to the father heart of God, to specific book studies of the Bible, and then two months of outreach generally to a third world country where you partner with other Christians in the work they are doing in order to serve the nation you are in.  There are YWAM bases all over the world, therefore there are thousands of available options for places to complete a DTS.  I chose to do my DTS in Switzerland, which is the first YWAM base ever established.  Although I do not know where I'll be going on outreach I know that in the past my base has sent people to India, China, Egypt/Israel, Uganda, and Indonesia. C. I did not choose Switzerland for any particular reasons.  I simply picked a country I would like to live in and checked to see if a DTS was offered there, it turns out that the base in Switzerland is quite large and well established.  I will be living in the town of Lausanne, near Geneva in the french speaking part of Switzerland.  This is particularly exciting to me because I have a strong desire to learn french.  If you are interested at all in what my base is all about, what it looks like, or anything about it really, you can visit its website at www.ywamlausanne.com .  After completing my DTS I intend on enrolling in The University of Nations, a University run by YWAM.  I have always wanted to be a writer, and I am very impressed with the various writing programs offered by the University of Nations.  If you are interested in learning a little more about the University of Nations you can visit its website at www.uofn.edu 

All of these changes are so drastic compared to the life I have been living for the past several years here in Hillsboro, but I am so excited to see where God brings me, to trust Him so much more than I do today, and to be used by Him.  I want to be a part of God's redemptive process for our world, for His people - but honestly I am still such a slave to fear.  I have two very specific goals for my life that I have just recently nailed down: 

1. I desire to trust God so fully that fear becomes a philosophical concept to me, that it would even be ridiculous to me, because really, why should we have any fear when we believe that God is who He is?  

2. I desire to know God through a balance of being able to clearly hear and recognize His voice and leading in my life, to be able to discern when it is in fact God speaking and guiding or something else, and that I would receive God given wisdom to deal with all the situations that arise in my life.  

Please, if you feel compelled to consistently pray for me especially as I leave for my DTS, it would be so deeply appreciated.  I have come to believe in the power of prayer so much more over the past few years than I ever have before and I can't imagine leaving on this journey without people praying for me all along.  And even if I just pop into your head every now and then but you don't feel compelled to make a commitment to praying for me, that too would be appreciated.  I need prayer for wisdom to discern what information I come across either through lectures, cultures, or other people is truth, I tend to be so enthusiastic about everything, it can be hard for me to be as skeptical as I know I sometimes should be.  I need prayer for love for the other students, I would really like to treat the other students totally unselfishly, to love them in a way that I can look back on my time with them and not be ashamed of anything.  I need prayer that I would be receptive to God's voice, that anything He might want to tell me about myself, others, life, anything at all would be received and recognized.  And a massive prayer request is for finances.  I haven't got the money to go at all.  It's been a challenging time leading up to my departure, and instead of money coming in more and more unexpected expenses have been popping up out of nowhere.  But, I believe that God wants me to go and that He will provide.  Please ask Him to provide for me.  I do not want anyone to feel pressured by this blog to give me money, I don't want guilt money.  IF you feel compelled by the Holy Spirit or you just want to help send me on this mission, you can make checks out to me Katie Tilden, and send them to my parent's house at 8324 Goodman Dr NW Gig Harbor, WA 98332.  I am working on finding out if there is a way to make donations directly to YWAM on my behalf so that any donations will be tax deductible, I will update my blog as soon as I find out either way.  Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to read this ridiculously long update, thank you for your prayers and support, I'll be updating soon!